For some reason Addison always saves the deep philosophical questions for me and not Jason. Lately she has been talking about her being inside my tummy. Being that she is only three I do not want to get into nor do I think she will understand a big conversation about adoption. At the same time I do not want to mislead her in any way about her birth and she does know that her sister flew on a plane and arrived one day. Back to the conversation at hand..."Mommy when I was a little baby I was in your tummy."
Me: Well you were not in Mommy's tummy, you were in someone else's tummy and you are so special that Mommy and Daddy got to choose you.
Addison: Whose tummy was I in?
Mommy: Another ladies' tummy
Addison: What's her name?
This is the part when I became uncomfortable. I know I should not feel that way and I never want our girls to feel ashamed or that we cannot talk about their adoption but this was hitting to close to my own personal Mommy feelings. I want to tell Addison want her birth mother's name is but I feel at this age she is too young to understand truly what all of this means. We have several children's adoption books telling stories about adopting and yet as smart as I believe Addison is I don't think she is quite ready for all of that information yet. I don't think I will ever be prepared emotionally for this conversation that is coming one day but I know I need to set my feelings aside and do what's best for my girls. They are the best gift from God I have ever received and hopefully He will give me the words when the time is right.
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